Why Watching Season 15 is Sad

I finally realized what this last season of Supernatural feels like...if you've watched Star Trek Next Gen or later--

You're in the holodeck in an opulent garden. Not only is it visually stunning, but the texture of the ground underfoot and the plants you touch, the scents, the breeze--all combine to convince you that you are in this astounding place. You walk around in it for hours, immersed in the illusion.

After a while (5 seasons or so) you start to notice there are now tiny glitches--barely perceptible moments where the feel of something is just a little off, or when you take a step something flickers and you are taking that step a second time. But you ignore them and keep walking, still lost in the overall astonishment of this holodeck creation.

Now and then you pass a tree and see an incongruity--a snowman, for instance, but it vanishes as you take another look and maybe it was your imagination, you tell yourself.

The longer you stay you start to see patches where the illusion fades momentarily and you can see the gridlines of the holodeck through the flora. At first the faintness solidifies quickly when you notice it, but eventually (say around season 12) the thin patches remain once you spot them.

And they are getting bigger. But you look away from them because you want to keep the beauty of the illusion going.

At this point (season 15) you see places where the the image of the beautiful garden has simply disappeared and the harsh lines of the holodeck stand out to remind you this was pretend all along. You carefully walk a path that keeps you in the garden but while your feet stay in the illusion, everywhere you look you see bigger patches of the grid's reality.

You know that very soon the last of the garden will be gone. You wish the whole thing had simply vanished in one fell swoop so that the image left in your mind would only be of the initial perfection, but sadly the distorted picture will also be remembered when you recall your walk.


I was trying to explain to myself why it feels sad this year when you see things in an episode that are clearly the writers going 'Dean needs to not have his phone so he doesn't race back to the bunker. Have the bar girl collect it'  and then dash off to write the fun/dramatic scene they want to get to without taking time to think through a logical way for Dean to be incommunicado because they are just focused on the big parts of the episode, having forgotten that it was the solid grounding of the details that made the show work in the beginning.

SPN Fic: Five Times Dean had a Good Time with Lee Webb...and One Time He Didn't

Title: Five Times Dean had a Good Time with Lee Webb...and One Time He Didn't
Author: borgmama1of5
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1636
Disclaimer: Not mine. But someone was going to write this and I figured I might as well go ahead.
Summary: So Dean met Lee shortly after Sam left for Stanford...
AO3 Link:

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SPN Fic--First Aid

Title: First Aid
Author: borgmama1of5
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 900
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing…
Author’s Note: A very,very long time ago I asked for lines from episodes as story prompts. And I’m finally going to use them to get my muse back.
Prompted by beelikej from Changing Channels: Okay, um, I need a... penknife, some dental floss, a sewing needle, and a fifth of whiskey! Stat!

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An Old New SPN Fic

I stumbled across a folder on my hard drive labeled 'Fic Started' and there was this complete story that I'd never posted! It was written during the hiatus between seasons 7 & 8, and is actually AU, but I thought it might still be of some interest. Obviously I'd seen the spoiler about Sam and Amelia, but that was all.

Title: Back From Purgatory
Author: borgmama1of5
Wordcount: 3200
Rating: PG
Genre: gen
Disclaimer: Just celebrating the start of the last season...
Summary: Dean returns
AO3 Link:

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Just finished the season finale and wow, I am nervous all over again about how they get out of that graveyard!!

But what really hit me hard again was that Dean chose not to shoot Jack even though Jack was fully accepting that he should die for his mistakes, and Dean made his choice without Sam saying anything. And then when Chuck offered to bring Mary back if Dean shoots Jack, that just got Dean in 'I won't be screwed with' mode. And then Chuck killed Jack anyway, dammit!

Watching the season in one fell swoop, I found it interesting that it was set up to make Michael the big bad for the season and then halfway through Michael's taken care of and suddenly Jack is the inadvertent big bad. I think Jack's character development over the last 2 seasons was really well done and Alex Calvert played him perfectly to make us feel for him doing wrong without meaning to. And in a way his behavior--doing the wrong thing while trying to do the right thing--is the same path that both Sam and Dean have taken trips down over the years, so that made me especially empathetic toward him.

Rewatching the scenes with Chuck, I wonder just how much free will the boys have had all along. I know that is supposed to be one of the arcs of this feeling is that Chuck keeps putting hurdles in their path but how they get over or around them is something he sits back and watches. And maybe throws another bump if they are going in a way he doesn't care for, but that they have still worked around it with free will.

At least that's what I hope.

October 10 can't come soon enough!!!

A Perk of Being a Grown-up...

...with no responsibilities to anyone else on a weekend when you're not on call:

My SPN season 14 videos arrived this week and I watched the first 11 episodes Friday night until 6 am Saturday morning while eating pizza and ice cream and I will watch the rest of them today and tomorrow  :)  :)  :)

(Initial review: the writing in the first few episodes was wildly uneven...I still cannot stand the Nick storyline and the use of the character Maggie makes me crazy. However Sam and Dean/Jared and Jensen are awesome and episode 300 was practically perfect. The fact that they got the episode with John's return right gives me a little hope that they will get the series finale right as well...)

Reccing an Oldie

I  just reread this, and it's a great read that should get a look from new eyes (or be reread by old ones):

The road to Detroit is Paved with Hell by sandymg

I read this during the season 5 winter hiatus, after Sam and Dean had tried and failed to kill Lucifer with the Colt and Ellen and Jo were killed during the attempt. sandymg continues with the boys' struggle to keep the Apocalypse from happening. While it has some things occur differently than what became cannon, she gives the boys the emotional development that actually dovetails into how the season did end, it's so perfect in its characterizations of Sam, Dean, and Lucifer. Between the emotion and the action it is one roller-coaster of a read!